Cambodia Welcomes Mr. Nata

I've been in Cambodia for a few days now, and figured it was time to writing something!

I've been planning this move since last September, and always know I would follow through with my plan (out of stubbornness if nothing else), yet it still was quite shocking when the big day arrived last Wednesday. Fortunately I’m a fantastic actor, and no one noticed that I was having major cold feet; I just wanted to curl up in a ball and never move again. Notably I am also a tad delusional; and I am pretty sure anyone I crossed paths with that day knew I was pretty nervous.

I rapidly cycled from existential dread to euphoria for the first few hours of travel, then things started to settle into surreal haze… Flash forward 23 very long hours, and I was looking out the window of the plane, about to land in Phomn Penh. I was so scared I had done something terribly stupid, yet I was trapped in it, which fortunately helped me to move forward. As soon as I stepped off the plane I was greeted by the familiar hot and humid climate of South East Asia, and I immediately felt grounded for the first time in a week or so. My feet were touching the earth again, and finally back in the part of the world I've always longed to be. The immediate onset of excessive sweating washed away my worries that I was making a mistake. I knew I was right where I belong. I checked into my hotel around noon and laid down for a “nap” after having been awake for the better part of two days. I woke up 18 hours later from the best sleep of my night, albeit one with many strange dreams I managed to not analyze. It was strange to realize I didn’t have to worry about wasting a day, because this isn’t a vacation, its life now.

________________________

This brings us to yesterday, my first full day here. I was honestly pretty scared to even leave my room, and I didn’t really know what to do with myself. But I knew I needed to just jump head first into it, and I managed to think of the perfect way to do so. Grindr. Suddenly being gay was gonna pay off in a way I never anticipated! That’s how I met my first Cambodian Friend, Chan.

After he told me how much the tuktuk should cost so that I didn’t get gouged too hard on white tax, I met him at a mall by his house. He took me for lunch (no clue what I ate but it was delicious), then we quickly checked out the mall. It was full of familiar stores, which I made a mental note of if I need to feel like I am almost back home one day. We went to Starbucks after, of course

I later got some street food and hit up a local gay bar by myself. I had read that another was better for solo travelers, but this one had some local drag queens which I wanted to check out. They were gorgeous, just as one would expect.

This particular queen fell off of the bar and onto the stage in the most accidental but iconic way, I wish I had caught it on video.

_________

Today I went to the killing fields and genocide museum. It was heavy, an experience that deserves its own post, and one that I need some time to process before I can write it.

Tomorrow I am headed to Siem Reap, where I anticipate I will settle. I booked a hotel for a week and will figure things out from there. Considering I slept the whole first day, I have really only been here for two days, and haven’t even made it to the city I think I will live in yet. Despite this, I feel at home. South East Asia has always felt weirdly like home to me, and even though I have never been to Cambodia, it feels like I have just come home.